The decision to divorce is not easy. Few couples do it quickly. Usually behind a divorce there are two to five years of dysfunctional marriage and dissatisfaction in the marriage. In addition to all that, the decision itself is an important act.

Sometimes the decision is made only by one partner, because the other is not ready for it, but sometimes both manage to agree and make a decision together. What you need to know is that making the decision to divorce is quite a painful moment, because it practically means death for the marriage. This means that the partners, after the decision, immediately face a series of losses, losses at a different level and field.

The partners with the divorce enter a whole process of divorces, emotional, psychological, of divorces on a social level, at the same time the economic loss begins, because from a stable functioning, they have to enter an uncertain situation about how to proceed further.

Unlike all other losses, for example a funeral, where we have rituals, divorce doesn’t have that and therefore makes it even more complicated, because you can’t ritually mourn the divorce process of a marriage. From here the partners enter a whole process, of emotional, psychological, divorces on a social level, at the same time the economic loss also begins, because from a stable functioning, they have to enter an uncertain situation about how to proceed further. All these are stages and phases in the following years, which the partners can go through. Of all of them, the most difficult is the emotional divorce.

At different ages, they manifest it differently. When we talk about preschool children, they can react mostly through their behavior. They know how to react with words, but they usually withdraw or show aggression. They may also experience nighttime urination, tics, a problem with pronunciation, and this is all a reflection of the emotional inner state of the children.

When he is in that school period, i.e. the period until adolescence, then we see situations of fear, situations such as refusal to go to school, to make friends, success at school is invested, unlike children in adolescence, who can already manifest them all these previous things.

Here we also have the danger, if they cannot cope with it, it often happens that they find solace in alcohol, drugs, etc. It is all a reflection of the uncertainty that children live with. Therefore, parents have an obligation to help their children adapt to the situation. If parents want to help their children, one way is to make all the announcements together, regardless of who is behind that decision. In this way, they help the children to better understand and understand that they remain their parents in the future.

It is true that during the period of divorce and after it, children are put in a situation to test their parents, to check their capacity to come to an agreement. If they see that they cannot agree between themselves, then with this behavior they send a message to the parents that they do not know what to do and are just looking for ways to solve a certain problem. That looks like abuse to us.

Therefore, if we don’t want children to behave in that way, the alarm should go off in our heads and as parents we should ask ourselves what is happening, what we are doing now and what we should do so that the child does not behave like that and obeys the rules.